I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
Also, do you think i could get away with finishing my vodka cranberry from last night at work if i put orange juice in it? Serious question.
Throwing up into Nora's potty chair while simultaneously having beer shits was truly the highlight of my Christmas season.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
Randomize
