You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
He hasn't left the hospital without a nurse's number all year. My nurses are always ugly or men. Wtf bro
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
Randomize
