Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
This Xanax laced vodka tonic will help me forget that all these spring breakers are all young enough to have been my students.
I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
Those nachos came to me in a dream
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
reminiscing on last night: why the fuck did I feel the need to stand on chairs everytime we took a jello shot?
Randomize
