i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
So don't be alarmed when you go into your bathroom, he's sleeping in the tub with your brothers dinosaurs. also I'll clean up the sticky floor later. (you don't wanna know)
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
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