I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
Please come pick me up? I sleep walked to planned parenthood again.
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
so my mom thinks I'm picking you up just to go buy you liquor before you go back to school tomorrow...
I'm ashamed that your mom thinks I haven't already taken care of that.
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
He just kept going down on me. And he was all like, do you mind? No motha fucka, who would? All of his ex's, apparently. Whatever, he's a gem and I'm keeping him.
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
Randomize
