It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
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