dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
Just puked in a mcdonalds cup while driving. Didn't even swerve.
are you looking for your table cloth? Cause I found it around my neck this morning...
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
Randomize
