YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
The nurse told me they're using the same medicine that killed michael jackson.
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
I'm hungover as fuck. My vagina hurts. I locked my keys in my car. It's about 93* outside. We're having sex in the pool when I get home
The slot machines are wishing me happy birthday. Mission success.
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
Randomize