He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
I don't remember much of last night. But I woke up with very apologetic texts from him this morning so apparently I didn't get laid. Which is stupid.
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
SITTING NEXT TO A CIRCUS PERFORMER AT PLANNED PARENTHOOD. THIS IS MY LIFE.
First night sober since New Years. I'm not sure what hurts more, the hangover or the credit dread when I find out what the tickets to Bali actually cost.
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
If he wants a future he'd best figure out the calendar function on his phone. If he can invite you to his penis he can invite you to his google cal.
Randomize
