I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
Seriously. If I'd known all it took was a 29 year old UPS guy to make me feel THIS SEXY, I'd have been fucking them for 30 years.
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
she wants homewrecking advice
are you gonna teach her your ways?
obvs. i'm like her yoda.
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Randomize
