My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
I want to have sex with Will Smith. I guess I have a thing with 90s sitcom stars. Stamos, Joey Lawrence, John Goodman.
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
I'd give anything to be driving a pirate ship wearing nothing but a coconut bra and a grass skirt eating a pizza and watching dolphins jump in the waves. Dreams ya gotta have dreams
The couple in the apartment next to mine are both opera singers. I’m never sure if I’m hearing them banging or doing vocal warm-ups.
I watched my wife kick balloons while wearing thigh highs. It's not a sentence you get to use too often
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