Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
decision: in honor of being in new orleans this weekend all my drunk texts will be en francais
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
We're so stoned that were both cuddling on the couch and crying over Forest Gump while eating popcorn. She asked me if I'd fuck away the sadness. I think she's serious.
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
I'm just sitting here drunk and eating peas because my life sucks
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
Randomize
