But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
I thought I was riding a bike, but I guess it was a vacuum cleaner
Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
You were laying in bed whispering and crying to the half eaten burrito saying "why am I shitting so much" and "what did I do to deserve this"
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
I won't apologize to a one balled man
just woke up under a car ? That's odd
Holy fucking shit
WAIT BUT IM WEARING A BACKPACK THAT MAGICALLY HAS 30 BEERS IN IT
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
Randomize
