Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
connan obrien reminds me of an asparagus spear
He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
Cause I came home. Im covered in green marker and jack daniels. Theres a taco and the words "we went to Mexico" on my wrist. Im a walking abomination.
He just asked me if I'd be interested in couples therapy. Fuck my life.
Today's forecast: A sex tornado warning has been issued in your area. Counties affected include your bed, your shower, or your couch. This warning is in effect until further notice. Signs of a sex tornado include: your girlfriend coming up with a huge analogy to inform you that she's ungodly horny today.
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
Randomize
