So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
Right... Let's keep my vodka tinged mind focused on simple words
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
Last night someone asked you what your favorite color was and you said "bagel."
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
My apartment is so clean right now, I should invite someone over for sex just so someone can see how clean it is.
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
Randomize
