whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
She gave me a handjob at the dinner table while her dad was carving the turkey. I made eye contact with him. Im pretty sure he knew.
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
3 words: harry potter burlesque. My life is so much more awesome than yours right now.
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
Randomize
