pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
I woke up this morning and saw that I had transferred $0.75 from my savings account to my checking account.
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
Randomize
