Don't put random dicks in your mouth or any other crevice for that matter... and i'm home in 30 seconds
Wish I got that text last night instead of this morning.
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
Just told myself the phrase "You're not THAT single" while dressing myself
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
Randomize
