note to self: Never ask your girlfriend to have a 3some with your ex...
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
I think a kid would responsible me up
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
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