lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
Do you think the firemen will remember me?
Yes. But you were sloppy, sobbing, and puked on two of them. You won't get in their pants.
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
I've been trying to masturbate for the longest time now and so far I've accomplished getting tangled in my computer battery cord and phone charger and hitting my knee on my laptop.
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
Randomize
