I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
I just googled if crying burns calories
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
He followed me on twitter after I posted a drunk screen shot of a tweet. It's like he gave me permission to stalk him on a whole different level.
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
Randomize