are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
Mom and I are both drunk and walking around the Strip. It's like the hangover but with a lot more bathroom breaks.
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
Randomize
