She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
Just letting everyone know that I am still alive after last night. On a related note, this is the 15th "I'm not dead!" mass text I've sent. You've got to celebrate the little things.
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
I just sang Hey Jude with a homeless man and then we drank beer together. Then I watched asians take pictures under a xmas tree for an hour and fell asleep in an MGM Grand bathroom stall. #AloneinVegas
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
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