Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
Last night I was just holding this kitten up to my face for like ten minutes telling it that it couldn't be real
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
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