BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
Come home, I'm drunk on the porch and pretending to smoke breadsticks like cigarettes. Enticing, right?
How am i even supposed to meet his daughter? "Hi, Claire, I hear we have so much in common, like we both love your Dad and also we're almost the same age."
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
The bar brought brought it upon themselves, they played billy joels piano man before closing, it's not our fault the bar isn't a bar anymore, right?
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
Randomize
