I want to make a zoo with you.
:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
I managed to convince my mom that my hickey was a birth mark I have always had. She cried for an hour about being a terrible mother for never noticing it.
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
My horoscope told me I'm getting laid tonight. Please don't make the stars be liars
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
Randomize
