Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
You can't just say "I scored us a potential threesome" and then not text me back.
The worst thing about buying this extremely comfortable bed is that once I get a girl into it, all she wants to do is sleep. I want my fucking money back.
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