2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
the arrest was probably divine intervention, cause i think we were heading to an ill-advised threesome.
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
if I just puked into my own hand, but then cleaned it up quickly, quietly, and calmly, am I still a trainwreck?
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
Randomize
