Just made a Mimosa with Chardonnay and Emergen-C.
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize
