How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
DAMMIT. BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY IS GONNA GET STUCK IN MY HEAD AGAIN. FUCK YOU OLYMPICS.
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
Randomize
