I tried to use my car keys to open my door
I just started a sentence with yellow.
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
I thought it was my alarm clock, turns out it was her vibrator still going off on the side of my face.
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
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