I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
I swear, you have an app for that. "Attention: your boyfriend is pooping. Place call?"
She's like a pop up book from hell.
I am sitting on the floor by my oven watching my cookie dough blossom. This is a whole new level of fat
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
i will replace your cream cheese. there's enough for breakfast. you are my friend. i had guests we wanted bagels so bad im sorry. i left you notes. i love you. you have enough for a bagel or two and i will get you more. you are so pretty.
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
Thank you for deleting me from Instagram. Also, I'm carrying your child. Happy new year!
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
Randomize
