i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
Can I sleep on your couch? My wife just found my eHarmony account.
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
I ended up staying at a police station for being a witness in a public masturbation case..NOW do you believe me that I've never had a good St. Patrick's Day?
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
I've been up for almost three hours and it took me until JUST NOW to figure out that what I'm tasting isn't blood, just the minerals in the water. Fuck hangovers, man.
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
My sister just poured me a dbl Ciroc on the rocks and said "the ice makes it festive." Honestly what a role model.
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
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