And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
my mom just emptied my water bottle filled with vodka into the turtle tank.
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
I come back upstairs and there he was sitting in a speedo. He handed me a blanket and said "let's cuddle" how is this real life?
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
OMFG "ASS" JUST STARTED PLAYING ON MY PHONE VIA PANDORA AS IM IN THE CAR WITH A CONGRESSMAN FUCKKKK
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
Randomize
