ya dads aren't the best wingmen
You gave me the wrong number last night so I texted someone else something I definitely shouldn't have.
So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
I listened to the last 10 minutes of that 20 minute voicemail, it's solid gold. At one point he literally suggests we buy tasers and go around shooting people.
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
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