Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
I'm partying with my neighbors right now, and by "with my neighbors" I mean they are partying in their backyard and I'm partying in mine, and by "partying" I mean I'm sitting here alone drinking tequila.
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
I'm having a staring contest with a raccoon.
Where the hell are you
He's winning.
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
I'm feeding a baby and swiping on tinder...what has my life come to?!?!
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
Randomize
