Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
She's gonna be fat in the future. On a side note I had a "It's not you, it's me." conversation with a bottle of jack last night.
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
Last night you told me to stop being Martha Stewart and asked if I had Taco Bell in my house
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
Randomize
