these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
Why was I handcuffed to the roof?
It was easier then trying to explain why you couldn't fly
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
He showed up in a dinosaur costume bearing a tray of cupcakes. He even let me hold his tail. I'm marrying this guy.
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
Randomize
