I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
The number of injuries I get impersonating Shakira while drunk is getting ridiculous. Sprained vagina, dude.
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
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