this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
Found a left over fake Olympic medal from our party last weekend. Awarded it to a random girl in the bar last night. Its the only thing she was wearing this morning when she woke up at my place.
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
You kept trying to make cocktails with my protein powder last night...
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
Randomize
