So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
I masturbated to my balding thirty-something co-worker last night. I am a new level of lonely.
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
Randomize
