you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
I'm lonelier than Tom Hanks in Cast Away, right meow. Ready to make this bong my Wilson.
he texted me at 3am asking for "one of my famous blowjobs"
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
why is there a dog in my house with your initials shaved in it's fur?
dude, i just woke up in a house i've never seen. i have bigger problems
Randomize
