And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
Drinking at work by myself... My boss just walked into me copying my face on the copy machine..
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
You went through my pantry and left one of everything in the box. One cracker. One cheesit. One piece of cereal. I really fucking hate you.
New drunken fun fact of last night, after I pushed Sarah and before I started making out with guy #1, I shouted that I'd go to third base on a first date, then threw myself at him
I was going to ask the people in the kitchen to keep the volume down, but they're cooking pasta at 3 AM and one complimented me on my polka-dot nightgown. They're high. No volume control.
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
Randomize
