the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
I woke up with my bra stapled to the ceiling, her dad was in the hallway winking at me. I was the less drunk of the bunch.
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
I still have that dildo-suction bruise on my forehead and this sweater STILL smells like my Christmas Eve vomit.
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
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