I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
so that guy from last night texted me saying i flashed half of my extended family last night. so classy.
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
Randomize
