Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
After I asked for my 6th Gin & Tonic, the look on the flight attendant's face started to make me feel bad about myself.
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
Just saw the cop you hooked up with over break. He’s def hotter in uniform.
Tell him to stop shaving his pubes. #Notmyjam
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
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