Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
I woke up at 4am on the couch with half my clothes on. And by half my clothes I mean my earrings.
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
Just did a walk of shame dressed as a cowgirl and walked past his ex's entire sorority. Yippee kye aye, motherfucker.
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
Randomize