Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
I'm at breakfast still drunk holding a blow up parrot
Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
Randomize
