Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
i woke up with a shattered plate next to my head.
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
She showed up at 4:30 in the morning HAMMERED, stripped, demanded sex, then after 4 failed attempts stopped me mid-thrust to tell me she thought we should be fucking for a cause, like animal rights. Process that for a second. She wanted us to be fucking for animal rights.
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
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