perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
Walk of Shame. In a state park.
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
Heads up. We filled your kiddie pool with kool-aid and vodka. Things are about to get Out. Of. Hand. Quickly.
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today.
Randomize
