it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
Just saw my bank statement. It literally goes liquor store pizza place liquor store pizza place bar bar bar liquor store pizza place 711 for snacks withdrawl for drugs rinse and repeat
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life.
The length of my leg hair is a constant reminder of how long it's been since I even thought I had a chance of getting laid.
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
Randomize
