My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
No matter what I do you still love me. It's like loving a retarded kid. A retarded kid that keeps trying to sleep with you.
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
Jungle juice turns everything into a pickup line. All I said was "do you play chess" and somehow I got laid.
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
Randomize
