he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
Just watched a fat girl on a scooter run into the back of a bus head first
You are the luckiest man alive
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
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