Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
NO I WILL NOT SET YOU UP WITH MY TWIN WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?!? JUST BECAUSE I WONT BLOW YOU DOESNT MEAN YOU CAN STALK HER AS A BACKUP PLAN YOU SPANISH BASTARD
So apparently I tried texting you last night to tell you I wasn't coming home, but all I had typed were lyrics from Evita
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
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