just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
So much Jack, so little girl.
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
Fuck. I think I can already feel tomorrow's hangover. It's like future me cane back to warn present me about the impending doom but didn't turn the time dial back far enough.
Randomize
