I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers."
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
she said I was laying next to a garbage can in the subway doing key bumps and screaming "its my fucking birthday" repeatedly
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
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