Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
btw, i had a dream i drank 260-proof vodka last night. thank god that doesn't exist in real life.
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
I asked a lamppost to be my valentine. Also: I'm wearing a sombrero. We need more sombrero in our lives.
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
Just showered and cleaned every bit of sex off of me cuz i have a feelin my stepmom has jesus powers and would be able to smell it on me
Randomize