i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
I hit her tiny dog with a horseshoe an hour ago. Her and her mom cried as it laid on the ground shaking. Im drunk.
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
I just brought the toaster out onto the porch to light a cigarette, don't talk to me about being desperate.
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
Randomize
