Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
DO NOT TRY TO APPROACH HER CAT. IT IS A DEMON CAT FROM SATAN'S BALLS AND IT *WILL* TRY TO KILL YOU. I SPEAK FROM EXPIRENCE.
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
Dad literally changed the channel from an episode of Big Bang Theory to another episode of Big Bang Theory. That's why I hate this show.
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