don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
I vaguely remember taking a shit behind the shed before I started puking over the fence. No more Xanax.
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
So I'm dropping a fat deuce at work, and the lock on the stall door slips and the door slides open, when suddenly someone comes in. Now I have two options, I can either get up quickly and try to shut the door quickly (not easy to do with one hand) or I can just sit there and play it off like it's no big deal and I always dump at work with the door open. I chose option two, and it was as awkward as it sounds.
I was about to share my drunken story from the weekend, but two friends getting married and one finding out she's pregnant makes Saturday in jail look a little suspect.
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
The fact that you screamed, "Alf is my spirit animal!" is proof enough that we're too old for peyote.
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
Randomize
