Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
I woke up and peed for 26 seconds this morning. 26 seconds!
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
I really gotta be careful. My email inbox is equal parts notifications from instructors and this dude's dick. If I get drunk and reply to the wrong thing I might get kicked out of grad school.
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
I woke up on your bathroom floor, i used your towel I found laying on the floor as a cape to get to your bed. I thought it would help me walk straight if I looked like a superhero
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
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